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Saying no isn't easy, but it's becoming a crucial life skill. But many people are afraid of that two-letter word, says William Ury, author of The Power of a Positive No. "We're afraid of not being liked, not being accepted," says Ury. "We're afraid of hurting a relationship or losing a deal."
We are continually reminded by others and the media about the importance of taking breaks, practicing self-care and we have heard the old adage about putting the oxygen mask on first over and over. However, we may be focused pleasing others, relying on only positive feedback from others to raise our self-esteem, or insecure about what talents and gifts we bring. We may need to shift our mindset and reframe the concept of setting boundaries with others to be successful at making our own needs a priority.
Take a moment and think about how your life would be different if you had an extra 2-3 hours a week to fill yourself up with energy producing and/or restful activities. How would the quality of your life be different? How would having more energy and patience be a positive for you, and for your relationships and even productivity at work? Please join us for proven methods to take back your time in order to give your best to yourself, others and your many responsibilities.
Many of us are people-centric and derive great satisfaction by helping others. However, in doing so, we may drop out our own needs due to fear of upsetting the relationship, appearing selfish, disappointing others, perhaps losing business, or appearing like we don’t know the answer.
Do you feel like you have to say “Yes” to everything that is asked of you in the workplace? Every task, project, business trip and any other requests that may come across your desk in the course of the work. You maybe very competent in certain areas compared to your family and friends, so do you just hop in and take care of tasks/chores that someone else could do? Might you be denying them an opportunity to learn and grow by doing this?
The truth is, many of us end up overloaded and unable to complete our home or job duties because of taking on so many additional and extra tasks. While being able to rise to the challenges just may be part of the job, or part of what we consider being a good friend or family member, there are ways to learn to say “no” and set boundaries when the occasion warrants.
Of course, any time we say “no,” there are likely risks, but there are brain-science backed techniques to help minimize risk and make our “no” a win-win situation. Many of us are people-centric and derive great satisfaction by helping others. However, in doing so, we may drop out our own needs due to fear of upsetting the relationship, appearing selfish, disappointing others, perhaps losing business, or appearing like we don’t know the answer.
Do you feel like you have to say “Yes” to everything that is asked of you in the workplace? Every task, project, business trip and any other requests that may come across your desk in the course of the work. You maybe very competent in certain areas compared to your family and friends, so do you just hop in and take care of tasks/chores that someone else could do? Might you be denying them an opportunity to learn and grow by doing this?
The truth is, many of us end up overloaded and unable to complete our home or job duties because of taking on so many additional and extra tasks. While being able to rise to the challenges just may be part of the job, or part of what we consider being a good friend or family member, there are ways to learn to say “no” and set boundaries when the occasion warrants.
Of course, any time we say “no,” there are likely risks, but there are brain-science backed techniques to help minimize risk and make our “no” a win-win situation.
Suzanne Blake, PCC, is an award-winning International Coach Federation Professional Certified Coach with 26+ years of coaching, training and business consulting experience. With warmth, humour and the latest in coaching and brain science techniques, Suzanne works in partnership with individuals and groups to attain their communication, empowerment, career and leadership goals.
Suzanne Blake is the Founder and President of Blake Coaching and Training. She has helped hundreds of seasoned and emerging leaders expand their capacity, make decisions, use focused strategic thinking, build confidence and self-awareness. Her coaching work has been featured in on The Today Show, NPR, The New York Times, The Boston Globe and numerous other media outlets.
A passionate industry leader, she specializes in coaching executives and managers in leadership development, managing individuals and co-located and virtual teams, communications styles effectiveness, work-life balance, presentation skills, emotional intelligence, time and performance management. Suzanne has comprehensive experience designing and facilitating training and coaching programs, facilitating team buildings, and conducting one-on-one Executive Coaching sessions.